Cellular-itis

(Ah, my memories of one year ago)

• We had a fun trip Saturday morning to Spring Grove, and nobody was committed (as in against their will). Scott brought both of his daughters to breakfast and Dr. Mike was a gracious host. Mazel Tov to Jeff on the Bar Mitzvah of his son, Joey, last weekend. While I'm sure that Joey did a great job with the ceremony, most of the guys raved about the fun sports theme party held later that evening. (See Scott for details about the delicious ballpark food - that man could have been a food critic).

• But it was back to Sam's on Sunday morning. The conversation turned to cell phones, where there clearly was a division along age lines. While some younger folks use cell phones exclusively and don't even have land lines at home, others carry cell phones around but never turn them on.......to save the batteries! (Bill commented that he hoped Jack wasn't similarly saving the batteries in his new pacemaker) They plan to use cell phones only in case of emergency - their own emergency - since you can't call them if YOU are in trouble. One reportedly keeps her cell phone at home....charging. Her husband calls it occasionally and leaves messages that he could be talking to her IF the phone was with her. When Pat's daughter Jo Ann came in, she immediately accused her mother of never turning her cell phone on either. However, Gladys just paid her cell phone bill for the year, and she only owed $11. Maybe keeping the phone off has some rewards.

• In conclusion, here is your vocabulary lesson. A cell phone that is turned off or left at home is, in many words: useless, abortive, bootless, counterproductive, disadvantageous, dysfunctional, expendable, feckless, fruitless, futile, good-for-nothing*, hopeless, idle, impracticable, impractical, incompetent, ineffective, ineffectual, inept, inoperative, inutile, meaningless, no good, nonfunctional, pointless, profitless, purposeless, scrap, stupid*, unavailable, unavailing, unfunctional, unproductive, unprofitable, unpurposed, unusable, unworkable, vain, valueless, waste, weak, and/or worthless.